Sex – from the viewpoint of my female clients and myself, this is how I view our ‘female’ opinions on sex.

Many women meet a man and why things are great so why not try the sex. See how things go, and the sex can be great, fun, and exciting. Sex becomes a regular thing in most relationships but what happens if the sex is great but the relationship isn’t there. Or when the relationship is there but the sex is missing.

So that comes to the other topic, Relationships. Women view relationships as something very different then men do.

We analysis it, we pick it apart in our minds and we then do this ‘game’ in our minds, which is: "I love him and things would be great if only he would do this or do that." I call this changing someone, as the changes that we ask for are a change in his personality, which is wrong.

Because over time, women and in my case, "men"  need to learn that you cannot change your partner, (men cannot change me), you have to face the fact that you have to accept your partner for who they really are.  And what I tell my clients is that if I cannot accept or live with a part of that person’s personality then I should just ‘move on’.

If you can change that person, why, either that person will end up ‘hating’ you in the future or you will end up ‘hating’ yourself because Karma has along to do with it.

I was dating this great guy, fantastic guy, perfect guy, but he wasn’t perfect for me. Why, because someone told me that Mr. Perfect would do anything I wanted him to do.  Where's the backbone??? 

I had the power in the relationship, I knew, he knew it and accepted it and everyone else knew it, and I don’t want the power in the relationship, I only want an equal portion.

That is what a Relationship is about. It is about an equal balance of giving and taking.

I could of changed Mr. Perfect into whatever I wanted but that would never of made me happy or him happy in the long run.

Relationships are partnerships, equal playing ground.

Now let throw in the other topic, SEX.

Women and sex is largely connected to their brains. Therefore we have to have our mind relaxed and our feelings settled before we can have sex.

A man can just have sex, no feelings; men know how to go through the motion.

Women have a difficult time with just the motion of sex; there is a brain wave that makes us want to have sex. When we don’t have that brain wave, then we don’t want sex.

Men have to realize that the majority of the time it isn’t what the man has done or not done, but it is who they are. When women realize they cannot accept the basic personality and traits of that man then the sex disappears, it’s that simple.

So if you are in a relationship and the women is not interested in sex, then maybe the sex and the gestures are not the problem, but the root is with the women with what she accepts or not. Also this changes with age, children etc, and my favourite is the ‘baggage’ the man or the woman has brought into the relationship.

Relationships change and just like a business needs goals, direction and a clear path. If the direction changes for one person within the relationship and the other partner don’t want to go down that road, we need to learn to let go and not fight against the change.

Now the decision comes to you if you want to change with the direction or accept that your partner wants to change. You can’t make yourself change you have to have the desire to change for yourself. Therefore, some times it is just better to let go.

You need to learn to love the person for exactly who they are, what they want and where they want to go in life. If you do not love that person for those reasons, the only person you will hurt is yourself because you will become unhappy with whom you have become.

Sex is easier without all the baggage, emotion, complications, but as a woman we feel with our minds, therefore when we cannot accept the person in front of us for exactly who they are, then we have a difficult time turning ourselves on to having sex.

But hey that is just my opinion.