Sex may be a physical act. However many people believe that there is more to sex than just the physical aspect.

During sexuality contact, our minds are stimulated in such a way that nerve ends tingle, the heart races, the body sweats, the physical changes are quite dramatic. However the brain processes these physical changes into something called feelings and feelings are very difficult to explain and discuss.

For women during sex, women have a process in their minds that the physical part of sex is 100% linked to the mental part of sex. Therefore women think about it, they process sex, they process the whole act in their mind. Women can turn the physical part of sex off with their mind. In viewing sex, i.e. porn, women process the sexual acts as a learning experience, want they want to get something educational out of it. Women process the images of pornography as pictures of themselves receiving the enjoyment or the thrill of a new idea.

Women view porn as an educational tool. Women tend to take out certain pieces of information from many different sources and link them together to create an idea that works for them. That is the reason why only some women enjoy porn but not at the same degree as men. Women view porn as a section of the learning process of developing a healthier sex life. Women read about sex, which is the reason why so many new sexuality based books are available in adult shops and mainstream bookstores. Therefore there is no one piece of porn that will ever be acceptable to a woman because she learns from many different images. Women talk about sex, which is one of the reasons why the show ‘Sex in the City’ did so well. Women related and learned from the experiences of the characters on the show. That is how women focus on sex is via the education level.

Men on the otherhand, process sex as a direct physical need. Otherwise why would we relate that men think with their lower heads not their upper heads? Men process sex as a very physical act, therefore a degree of emotionless. Why do you think prostitution exists? It is physical not emotional.

Men view porn as a form of entertainment, like watching an action movie, they get a rush from it. Men are so visual, and they learn from visual techniques, they get excited from the images. Men do not education themselves about sexuality via reading, discussions; they process sexual education via pictures and images. They process sexual education in a different sequence than women do.

Therefore if men need visual guides to educate and women need to mentally educate, how do the two species educate themselves together and find the happy medium.

That is simple, communication, and I am not talking about talking communication. Communication can be in many forms, and the best way is acting out. Remember when we were kids and all the play time we had with dressing up, role playing, all the fantasies and make-believe. And as adults they call sexual fantasies as fetishes, when in realistic terms we are trying to communicate to our opposite species what works for us on a sexual level.

If we are playing or acting out then sex toys should be considered. Sex toys are adult toys to be used in role-playing and adult play time. Down to the simple terms, sex toys are not used to replace regular sex; they are used to communicate between men and women. Adult toys help build a dream or process a thought. As adults, sex is our prime fun in life; it is fun to have sex. Therefore sex toys are suppose help the playtime between adults.

So the communication factor, since men are so visual, sex toys can become a visual educational piece to help the women’s wants and desires become realistic. Many men email me or inform me that they would be upset if their female partner used sex toys during their time together. Men feel that sex toys are a replacement to them, they have not processed that they are a communication piece.

Number one rule with telling a man want you want in bed is by not telling them, it is by showing them or asking them, never tell them what you want. Men process their sexual role and very dominating and to try to correct certain traits can actually harm their egos. However, to help educate a man do try something new sexual you need to show them, kind like their own personal porn show.

What needs to be done is this, women need to purchase a sex toy and then inform their partner that it is going to be their private show. This helps with the visual impact the man requires and the educational process the women requires. Why do you think stripping for your partner is becoming one of the hottest trends, i.e. the exercise, trust me, a major talk show host did a segment on sexy stripping, last month.

If men and women think differently about sex education then only a happy medium is going to help solve the problem of a balanced sex life. So what do you have to lose by trying? But that is just my opinion.